The Night She Tried To Kill Me

The night she tried to kill me
With a pillow and a boom box
We watched a foreign movie
We shared nachos and talked it over

And when she tried to kill me
As I slept and snored and shifted
I swore I dreamt of antelopes
Chewing hay, regretting nothing

But murder isn’t easy
And I’m still here
Feeding meters with quarters she’ll never see

The night she tried to kill me
With a pillow and a boom box
The moon was fat and freckled
The clouds were nothing special

And when she tried to kill me
First with the boom box and then with the pillow
I swore I heard Nirvana
Unplugged, undead, unclean

But murder isn’t easy
And I’m not dead
Though I’d like to see the antelopes again

The boom box felt like surgery
The pillow smelled like dryer sheets
And though my screams were muffled
They heard me on the streets
The sirens seemed like Santa Claus
She put the pillow down
She pressed play on the boom box
I heard the Velvet Underground

But murder isn’t easy
She could tell you that
As she paints her toes the color of the sea

1999