The River

I was surprised, for example, to see
Sheila E. and Kenny G. crossing the river
Holding their pedometers to the wind
To get more credit, to build more miles
To artificially attenuate the XY files
It shocked me, you see
This example of incredulity

But on the other side of the bridge
The Bacon Brothers were strumming their shit
A new song, one about the ways and means of war
Went a bit
Something like this:
"That's how I roll, old man of the mountain
Old man of the mountain, that's how I roll"

Kevin's guitar case was open
He didn�t mind the dollar bills blowing
Into the muddy Mississippi
I like coins better and is that G and E?
You wanna blow with us, Kenny?
We got a tambourine, Sheila�
And the band, now a foursome, played on

A crowd had formed
Requests were made
Someone stood to ask for Handel's Messiah
And at the sound of the first "Halleluiah"
Jeff Buckley rose from the water
"Did someone say my name?"
Kevin shrugged his shoulders
Jeff went back for his upstream swim

And in a Dinkytown café
Doughty from Soul Coughing
Played chess with the ghost of Dimebag
"I never saw him coming, Mike
But at least my hair was perfect"

And in a St. Paul chicken shack
Bjork and Matthey Barney snacked
On corn and beans and breasts the size
Of the great pyramids
As Sufjan Stevens gingerly
Took notes

And back by the river
The band grew to jam session proportions
Bjork and Sufjan and Doughty and Dime
Had made their way down
Locals had arrived
Westerberg was there, trying to conduct
But no one conducts by the river
Prince was there too
God's will he said
Dylan showed up for the last song
In a robe designed by Jeff Lynne
"Store this somewhere cool" Jeff had explained
"Or the fabric will fray
And next thing you know
It'll be you and Stevie Nicks
On a state fair amphitheater stage"
"Oh, that already happened?"

To close the night
Now framed by fireworks and a half-moon
The big band played the signature song
Of a city built on rock and roll
Bob took the lead and crooned
"I saw a tow truck
Towing a tow truck"

Coda:
Later that night
Kenny whispered "8 miles"
Sheila hushed "That's enough for a lifetime, yo"

December 29, 2004